thecolororange

Measuring Up

2007-02-11T23:33:00.000-08:00

When do acquaintances become friends? Friends become good friends? Good friends become best friends? New friends become old friends? And so on.

I'm not exactly sure of that answer, but I am happy to write a post about our good pals Jon and Dana Shank, and seeing that gradual motion over the past 2 or so years. He was a classmate of C's at Stanford and she is his wife, who I became close with through our gang of SO's (significant others, in Stanford-speak). On paper, I don't know if we would have matched up well. They both went to Stanford for undergrad, he was BMOC (big-man-on-campus) with his baseball scholarship and fraternity membership, she was in a popular sorority, etc, and they already had a full docket of friends coming into business school. We were the gay couple from the east coast who didn't know anyone.

Thankfully, Jon and Christian met early on in first quarter and hit it off. We went skiing together in Tahoe for C's birthday their first year in school and they rode with us on the way to and from, where we really got to know each other (and disoverd a common love of Chipotle, which we waited 100+ miles to eat at). GSB events were always more fun when they were around. We were in the ski house in Tahoe last year, and went to Costa Rica for spring break. In short, lots of really really fun common events where we would always enjoy each other's company in the midst of a cool backdrop. (well, mostly cool-- I don't know if you could really call the GSB Auction "cool"....) We affectionately called each other our GSB "best-ies", or slang for best friends in the world of Mrs. Shank.

But it's really been since Jon and Christian graduated last year that I have seen our friendship evolve to the next step. They still live in Palo Alto as Dana finishes her last year in law school, so we're not as physically close as we used to be, but we've still managed to make time at least once a month or so to get together. It can be as casual as a dinner over at their place, or as it was this morning, a brunch in Burlingame, which is about half way between SF and Palo Alto. We sat down this morning and quickly began catching up on all of the latest stuff happening in our lives; C's new job, our hunt for a house, Jon's job, Dana's final stretch in school, etc etc. After brunch, we bummed around the shops in the neighborhood, hanging out, etc. In short, nothing particularly special.

But it is in that very "non-specialness" that I realized how, in fact, it is. When you are with other people in a fairly mundane setting of a brunch and feel like you can talk about anything and the understanding that they will listen, that's pretty powerful. And there we were, doing just that, not really talking about anything special per se, but as I think back over, it was really fantastic.

They are an extremely positive couple to be around. I'm sure they have their differences, but pretty much every interaction we've had been with them shows that the chemistry that they share between them is infectious; they are very much in love with each other and seem eager to share that with the other people in their lives. They have a very wonderful trait of not only being able to share richly about what is happening in their lives, but also of listening to and richly caring what is happening in ours.

I think about that a lot after we see them; there's no question that I'm able to talk about what's going on in my life. But am I also interested to hear about however I am talking to has to say? Do I really care about what they are talking about? Mostly yes, but sometimes, honestly, no. And am I fully investing in relationships that return this kind of warmth and value, and frankly, not investing in ones that don't? Again, mostly yes, but not always.

Making time to see each other? Learning good lessons from each other? Thoroughly enjoying time together and looking forward to the next? Feeling like I can trust them? I know there's no "official" measuring stick from friends to good friends and so on. But with amazing people like Jon & Dana in my life, it doesn't seem to matter much.

You Gotta Have a Plan (Part 2)

2007-02-01T22:32:00.001-08:00

I've written about planning before and well, about my difficulties in this area. I mean, I haven't done so bad this far-- got a great man, a good job, like where I am living, etc. and that all couldn't have just happened by accident, right? But if you ask me where I am going to be in 10 years and what I want to be doing, do I know the answer? Does anyone?

Thankfully, there are people out there who do. One of them is my Dad, and today is a really happy day in the Baker family. He's been someone to look up to all my life for a lot of reasons, but today I get the amazing honor of saying I'm proud of him. You see, about ten years ago, after 25+ years in the construction business, he decided to switch career paths and move to the lighting industry. He became president of a company that an old friend of his had founded but needed a seasoned executive to come in and take to the "next level". I remember when he called me to tell me about it; after serving as VP at his then company for many years, this was his opportunity to actually run a company and the long-term goal would be to grow it large enough so that it would be acquired. I nodded as I listened, even though I didn't really know what he was talking about. Acquired? What does that mean? Why is that a good thing? But it did always stick with me.

One of the most amazing things about my Dad is that although he is one of the funniest people I know, when it comes to work and business, no one takes it more serious. As I have come to learn more about business and Christian was going through his MBA, we would get involved in some pretty hefty discussions about Hanover Lantern. He would proudly tell us about how well the company was doing and talk about the future and his vision for what it would hold. Although we didn't directly talk about it much after that first conversation, he was working his butt off to grow the company and ultimately position it for an acquisition.

And so it has come. The company was acquired yesterday by one of the largest lighting manufacturers in the country. Even better, they are going to keep the company as a separate division so everyone gets to keep their jobs in the same place. That is, except for Dad. He decided that after being his own boss for so long, he just didn't want to work for someone else again. When we spoke this morning after the happy congrats and all, he told me he realized you come to a point in your life where time becomes more important than money, and he wants to spend time with my stepmom, etc. Amazing-- he's teaching me about life even through all of this business stuff.

The first thing I thought this morning when I read the press release (!) about the acquisition was that discussion we had way back when he first told me about the move. Everything he has done with the company has been moving towards this point and he achieved it. He laid out a plan and accomplished it, pure and simple. There's been many before and I'm sure many to come, but what better lesson to get from your Dad?

So while I'm certainly not at his level of planning yet, I'm trying. And I have a brilliant role model to show me how it's done.

Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!

2007-02-01T21:44:00.000-08:00

Moments of delight are something we talk about a lot at Yahoo! in terms of product design. When a product takes care of something for you, like say, remembering your personal information from last time you visited a website, that's nice. But when something comes along that anticipates a need you didn't even know you had, that's the true delight.

Christmas came in January this past week when my new Nintendo Wii arrived fresh from a shipment from Ebay. Christian had originally meant it to be a Christmas present and even waited in line over 2 hours (!) at J&R Computer World in NYC when they first came out back then. It wasn't meant to be since they were out by the time he got inside the store and they were all over $600 on Ebay. The one I bough ended up half that price, less than a month later, a good lesson in Christmas buying hysteria.

So the set-up for this system in case you don't know is that it comes with a controller that is a bit different than most video game systems. This controller is actually used as an instrument in the games. The system came with a sports disc that includes seemingly hum-drum games like tennis, golf and boxing. Except this time, rather than pressing buttons to serve and volley, you actually swing the controller to hit the ball. It's most impressive in tennis, where you actually have to stand in front of the TV and dart back and forth to get the ball. I got a second controller and Christian and I actually played tennis in our living room last night and worked up a bit of a sweat doing it!! What fun, and for any of you in SF who want to come over and give it a try, let me know! Playing the game, you can really feel like the designers of the system decided to just make it, well, plain fun, and were looking to delight the users of it.

I had a similar experience with the nifty Nike/iPod connector that my brother and sister-in-law sent me for Christmas. Its a small piece you can plug into your iPod to keep track of how long and far you go when running. I've used it a few times so far and think its a great invention. But I had an extra delight when I went for a run earlier this week-- when I completed the run, the normal female voice-over came on the headphones and said the time of the distance of the run, as it usually does.

But then a man's voice comes on and says "This is Lance Armstrong. That was your longest run so far! Congrats and keep up the good work." My first reaction was "are you kidding me?!!" and then I thought "Thanks, Lance!" and I can't wait to hear that again. How incredibly motivating and a small but thoughtful touch the designers added.

So I didn't really ever think that I wanted to play tennis in my living room or have a doo-hickey that connects to my music player to keep track of when I exercise. But I wouldn't want to live without them now. And to that, I'm sure the owners of the products are delighted themselves.

Free Music!

2007-01-24T23:11:00.002-08:00

Everybody, including me, loves free stuff. I remember when the original Napster came out—it was before I even had a computer at home. I was visiting my Mom and decided to see what all the hoopla was about. In a matter of minutes, I was downloading a lot of music that I could only dream of finding before, especially in the arena of dance/electronic music that I like. I freeloaded for awhile until Napster and its successor Kazaa were eventually shut down; around the same time, I got my first iPod and iTunes came out for the PC, so downloading became legal and guilt-free.

But free downloads are back, dear dance music fans, this time in the form of podcasts. (For the uninitiated, podcasts are like radio shows that people record with their home computers and can consist of music, talk, video, or a combination of all three.) DJs and producers alike create sets of music, upload them to iTunes or their own websites, and allow users to download them, add them to their iPods and they are off. Most often they are sets about an 1-2 hours long, and they are totally free. Yes, you can’t rip singles you like out of them, but I’ve still found it to be a great way to discover music. If you subscribe, any time a new one is up, it automatically downloads and you can have it set to sync to your iPod. Its like getting a free mix CD every time one shows up!

So here’s a list of my current favorites:

Boramusic.com HouseCast

A DJ from Hartford , CT (of all places) named Kered is solidly my favorite podcast. He is a DJ and a promoter for events in Hartford, so each one consists of a 30-40 min set by Kered himself, followed by an interview with whatever DJ is playing his club that weekend, and then a 30-40 min set by that DJ. The guest DJs are some giant names—Deep Dish, Gabriel & Dresden, and the like. But it’s usually Kered’s sets that I prefer—chock full of the funky electro house sound I’ve come to like since I moved to SF. (Warning—the interviews are usually wildly insipid—the DJs say crap like “I like to take the people on a journey” and stuff like that—just hold down fast forward on your iPod during these parts and enjoy the music!) Often times when we are out, I’ll hear a song that I recognize and realize it was on one of these podcasts a few months back. The best part is Kered adds a new one every 2-3 weeks, so its like getting a collection of the coolest new music each month.

Velvethead

A local DJ I found through the cool Y! podcast search, this guy is all about the warm SF house sound that I love. Think DJs like Miguel Migs, Julius Papp and the Hed Kandi and Om labels, and you’ve got this one nailed. My friend Lem would love this-- it’s perfect for poolside grooving. I also like to listen to it at work when I really need to focus on a design I’m working on and want an upbeat sounds that is not too distracting with heavy beats. The sets play right through with no voiceovers, which is nice as well. A favorite is his Naked Music Tribute from August—there’s songs in there any End Up-goer will appreciate, but anyone who likes dance music can enjoy as well. (Diva lovers, there's a bootleg Mary J Blige as the first track on his most recent set that you'll probably like...)

Alyson Calagna’s HouseBlend (iTunes)

Alyson has been an and coming DJ on the gay-circuit for a few years now and has a couple of podcasts that are tasty blends of stuff I like about circuit music—booming beats and female vocals without getting too diva-ish or pots and pans-ish. Christian and I had the pleasure of meeting her in Miami a bunch of years back and she was really cool, and her latest podcast is a well made, high-energy collection of the latest stuff heard in the clubs.

In My House by Flooker (iTunes)

This is one I found on iTunes and the best part about it is he does one every week. He speaks at the beginning in some foreign language, but all of the music is pure House. It can drift to the Euro side of things too much for me, but again, the frequency of new sets showing up is a delight.

Tongcast by Pete Tong (iTunes)

One of the granddaddies of current house music, Pete Tong has been spinning records in England , Ibiza and around the world for what it seems like forever. One of the first import CDs I bought in the mid 90s was by him! His sets are usually pretty upbeat and fun, although he recently has been drifting into more crusty and guitar like sounds that I don't necessarily love, but its always interesting. He actually talks a fair amount between songs and is pretty entertaining, if not for his accent alone. Every track is "essential", but he does call out the names and the mixes of the songs, so it’s a good way to learn who does what.

Bravehound
Lastly, some hottie in Vancouver keeps a blog and posts occasional podcasts which are really off the hook. His blog is worth visiting just to see what he looks like, but the music he produces really is fantastic. The latest one, Groove Tonight, is chock full of electro house goodies, but then he surprises you with a new mix of Janet's classic, "The Pleasure Principal". Tasty stuff, and all free!

So it’s not the same thing as Napster, but to me, still pretty darn good. If any of you know of any others I should check out, please add a comment. Happy listening!

The Value of a Dollar

2007-01-24T22:36:00.000-08:00

When you think about it, a dollar really doesn’t go very far. It’s hard to even buy a bottle of soda for less than one. It seems like it really takes a lot of them to do anything at all, and anything you want to do that is seemingly cool, even more. But I have a way of thinking about a dollar that might change your outlook.

It all started many years ago when I was skiing with my family at a resort outside of Pittsburgh during college. I was with my dad, stepmom, aunt, uncle and my then (ahem) girlfriend. My parents had actually treated my girlfriend to lessons for Christmas, so while she was with the teacher, I headed to the back of the mountain with my uncle, who is an amazing skier and quite the partier to boot. He has a set of ski poles that literally unscrews where he was fond of keeping peppermint schnapps. It’s amazing what that can do to keep you warm on the freezing cold lift, especially for the night skiing done on the east coast.

So we’re on the lift, trading shots of schnapps and he was telling me about how everytime he goes skiing, he tries to ski enough times to get it down to a dollar per run. So if the lift ticket cost $30, if he was able to get 30 runs in, it was worth it. After all, he said, skiing is a very expensive endeavour, but if you think about it in terms of a dollar per run, well, then maybe its no so bad. I told him that was a pretty cool idea and then asked for another shot of schnapps.

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized this theory has a pretty broad application. I started to think about it in terms of when I buy clothing—like, if a pair of jeans is $50, if I wear them 50 times, then its only a dollar per wearing, and that doesn’t seem that bad. Shoes are wear it works especially well, especially if they become a favorite pair. I’ve used this rationalization with Christian many times when trying to convince him to buy me whatever it is I want and it is a surprisingly compelling argument.

Take a computer for example. When I bought my Mac last fall, I thought about it in these terms—I use it every day, often times, more than once. If I have it for at least 4 years, which is how long I had my last computer, that’s 1460 days. It made it easier in my head to go for the large 24” monitor version of the Mac! (well, that and I really wanted it…)

So next time you look at one of those crinkled up George Washingtons in your pocket, try and think about this theory. It can a lot further than you think.

Back for 2007

2007-01-24T22:24:00.000-08:00

Dear readers (if there are any left):

Sorry for the self-imposed hiatus. Christian arrived back in town right before Xmas and with everything going on and the holidays, etc., writing really slipped through the cracks. But I'm back to writing more often again (already have 2 new entires done, posting one tonight and another later this week), so please start reading again. And as always, I love to see your comments below. If I am going to take a break again in the future, I'll add a post.

Thanks and happy new year.

Razzle Dazzle Em (Or Don't)

2006-12-06T23:16:00.000-08:00

My latest list of cool stuff...

Theatre: When in New York last week, Christian and I went to see "Chicago" on Broadway. We had both wanted to see it for awhile, particularly since the brilliant Bill Condon film a few years back that garnered a bunch of well-deserved Oscars. I was able to score some half-priced orchestra seats at the TKTS booth that was only a few block from Cs apt, and we were set.

Unfortunately, we both ended up being very disappointing. Despite the long string of stars that have moved through the show since its re-opening 10 years ago, the best this show could do was Huey Lewis as Billy Flynn. The actress who played Velma Kelly (Catherine Zeta Jones in the movie) was at least 45-50 years old. The production values of the show were high-school grade at bestremember the fabulous last scene of the movie when Zelleweger and Zeta-Jones are doing their last number in front of all of those lights on the stage? The stage equivilant had long strands of tinsel that looked more appropriate for your Aunt Hildas Christmas tree. The orchestra took 80% of the stage, which left few opportunities for anything impressive to happen.

I got to thinking about it seems a lot times when expectations are high for something, I feel let down. I hate it when that happens. On the upside, I cant wait to see what Condon does with the upcoming film version of "Dreamgirls". I was on the fence about the movie until I saw the previewit looks amazing! (And GO Jennifer Hudson...)

Movies: I caught 2 of the movies du jour over Thanksgiving and fortunately, both seemed to live up to the hype. Borat was outrageously offensive as advertised and despite many of the funny parts being given away in the commercials, there was plenty of R-rated (even X??) that they saved for the movie. They found a good way to keep the satire front and center, despite all of the shenanigans. Of course, we saw it in Gettysburg , PA with my brother and sister, and on the drive home, were wondering if the rest of the people in the theatre got the satire...... since they mostly seemed to not be laughing at the same time as us.

We also caught Casino Royale, new James Bond flick with the hot hot hottie Daniel Craig taking over as 007, and just debonair The debonaire flake that he had turned into in the last 10 years had grown pretty tiring to me, as of the only reason he was ever able to get out of the crazy situations he found himself in was cause, you know, hes James Bond. The new movie thankfully casts all of that schmaltz aside and instead re-introduces us to a gritty, conflicted Bond that is vastly more entertaining to observe. I was also surprised/impressed at the somewhat stunning number of times they showed Mr Craig in various states of undress, esp compared with that of his female counterparts. Score one for the boys and girls who appreciate that and note to directors along with the interesting dialouge and story, more of scenes like in the pic for the ensuing films, please.

TV: There are a ton of great new shows on this year, but its been two old favorites that have regained their mojo this season that I think are worth mentioning here. First is "Desperate Housewives", which has ranged from thrilling (the grocery store episode) to haunting (Lynette's quiet but fierce threat to the chick who was hitting on her husband) to just downright entertaining (this season's mystery gets a bit more interesting with each week). While some of the "funny" parts seem to stretch a bit, I'm happy to say Wisteria Lane is back to its wild wacky self and I'm looking forward to see where it all goes. If you turned it off after last year's mediocrity, you should tune back in.

Another show, which I should be embarrasseds that I watch, is "The OC", which is back with a vengenance so far this year. It's added back in the self-awareness of the lunacy of the whole thing that was lost in the last two years, along with the trademark great music. If you haven't heard "Love You Till the End" by the Pouges, do yourself a favor and download it now. What a great song. The ratings have been in the cellar even for a Fox show, so this could be the last year and it would be at least good to see it go out well.

Tunes: Above & Beyond's album "Tri-State"has been in nonstop rotation on my iPod. It captures the sweeping elements of their bestmadonnamixever of "What it Feels Like for A Girl" from a few years back and I just seem to be reaching for it again and again. Check it out, esp the minimal beauty of track 10, "Good for Me".

Another remixer that seems to be everywhere these days is Dirty South. First popping up earlier this year with some great house mixes, he has a hot electro mix of DM's classic, "Just Can't Get Enough" out now. Of course, it hasn't been released but I was able to track it down on a podcast. I just bought some new software that should allow me to manipuate these files, so stay tuned for some podcasts of my own coming in the new year.

In other genres, perhaps in reaction to the stunning disappointment her new release 20 Y.O., Ive been mining Janet Jacksons catalogue for some good music and have found comfort in the realm of janet" and Velvet Rope. Its surprising how relevant and fresh both albums still feel a decade later, while the new one is D.O.A, which migh have been a more approrpriate name. At least I just found on iTunes a Bimbo Jones mix of "So Exited", which sounds like it could come from David Harness' deck at the End Up. Go on Miss Janet, where's the good stuff?

And so ends this list of the good stuff.

An Era is Over

2006-11-20T23:43:00.000-08:00

I am very happy to report that as of today, Christian and I are no longer in the possession of property in Washington, DC. We successfully closed on our house at Beekman Place and despite the sagging market conditions in the area, were still able to get a deal that sets us up well for whenever we turn to buy here in SF.

But selling the house is not without regret. I read somewhere awhile back that like your first love, you never really get over your first house, and I think that will probably be true for this place with me. At the urging of my parents, I bought the place as a clueless 25-year old after a week long search landed me in a place only a few doors down from where I had been renting for the first 2 years I lived in DC. (Thanks for the urging and support, Mom & Dad!) I moved in right as Christian and I were getting back together after his brief first stint in SF, and before long, he would move in and we would make it our first home. The house became known as the "frat house" since we had so much more space than most of our friends, so people would just come up and hang out. After we got a grille, we started to throw "Frat House BBQs" each Thursday night since so many people went to the beach or out of town for the weekend. There was the legendary post-2000 election party we had for Ted and Todd that Todd couldn't even make it to since he was in Florida. There were also the many nights watching "24" and "American Idol" with Phil, Ted, Derek, Lem and Matt, and the countless other times we entertained there.

And of course we lived there when we adopted Hobbes, who after a rough start of pulling down our newly-installed wood blinds in panic attacks after we left for work, quick ingratiated himself into our lives, where he will be forever. We owned Marty the Miata, Andy the Acura and Murray the Murano during our time there. We went through numerous layoffs and downsizings at my company. I'll never forget the day of our wedding, when I thought we were going to get rained out, when the sun came out after I got out of the shower and I was dancing around our bedroom so excited about what was to come. We remodeled the kitchen and downstairs with tremendous improvements. I found out my grandmother passed away in that house right before we moved. We got to know our friendly neighborhood cop. We laughed. A lot. We built the foundation of the relationship we have today.

So financially, yes, it is a good thing we are making this transaction. Life milestone-wise, also good. But there will always be a piece of 1656C Beekman Pl with me.

** Anyone needing a rock star realtor in DC, look up Charlie Gaynor. He pretty much did everything for us since we were in SF and I couldn't be more pleased with the experience. Thanks to DWK for recommending him!

Reasons to be Happy

2006-11-15T10:09:00.000-08:00

On Christian’s urging, I saw the new Will Ferell movie, “Stranger than Fiction”, last night. Ferell plays a straight-laced guy who starts to hear a nararrator in his head, documenting his life, who is a real author writing his story in a novel. The movie starts strong, wanes a bit in the middle, but really brings it home at the end. It reminds you to appreciate all of the subtle nuances that make life the precious thing it is.

And so this is my list for today:

* I had to go on a work trip early this morning, and as I came around the corner to Candlestick Point, looked to the left and saw the sunrise coming up over the San Francisco Bay. The sky was a stunning mix of blue, orange and red as the sun peaked through the clouds. One time Christian and I watched the sunrise in Miami and I said to him “God just turned the light on.” Indeed.

*There’s a batch of good new TV shows this season, and the networks are showing an unusual dedication to them. I read with great pleasure last night that “Friday Night Lights”, a drama set in small Texas town following the local obsession with the high school football team that’s been struggling in the ratings, got picked up for the full season. I watched the first few episodes and was immediately drawn in by the stunningly true depiction of a town very similar to the one I grew up, as well as the star quarterback suffering a neck injury much like the one I did when I was in middle school, although his resulted in paralysis and mine, thankfully, did not. NBC picking up the show for the whole season is a welcome relief, and along with the other pleasant surprises of the season like the doofy fun “Ugly Betty” and the refreshingly real gay courtship and on-screen kisses on “Brothers & Sisters”, its nice to see some quality shows hitting the airwaves and getting the support they deserve.

*Buttermilk biscuits. Mmmmm, I had one at breakfast this morning and they are just yummy.

*Matt & Michael are taking off for a fun 1.5 week trip to London and Amsterdam and I’m really excited to hear about their adventures when they return. Matt urged me to come with them about a month ago and I have to admit, I was very tempted. But we ultimately decided to keep our plans to head home and spend Thanksgiving weekend with my family in PA, and as soon as I’m able to hug my step-mom, who is just recovering from a surgery, or hold my newborn nephew, or clown around with my brother, I’m pretty sure I’ll feel I have made the right decision.

*Work has been going really well lately for me. I was chatting with Titus and he was saying that he admired how passionate I was about my job and sure enough, I am. When I left the Travel industry after 6+ years of working in a field I have a personal obsession with, I was unsure how excited I could get about Customer Care, Matt’s snarky-but-well-deserved- after-all-of-my-payroll comments “help desk” snipings notwithstanding. But through a combination of hard work and maneuvering myself into a good position, here I am. That said, a lot of my goodwill towards work right now has to do with the positive feedback I’ve recently received from my director and also the VP of the business unit that I work in. So managers out there, don’t forget – if you have people in your group are doing a good job, tell them! You never know how far a pat on the back will take them.

*South Africa became the 5^th nation in the world to legalize same-sex marriage yesterday. One of the leaders of a GLBT group in South Africa said “It forced us (South Africans) to consider: what does equality really mean? What does it look like? Equality does not exist on a sliding scale.” A question for the rest of the world and the USA—how is it that of all places, South Africa, home of apartheid, et al, is now one ahead of most of you in equality? Cheers to all of our boys in South Africa!

*I've worked it out that while in San Diego today, I'm going to see my pal Erin. It's always fun when business trips allow you to see a friend as well.

*And lastly, the countdown begins: 1 month from today, Christian returns to SF for good! It can’t come fast enough.

No Camera Required

2006-11-06T21:05:00.000-08:00

I really love to take pictures, but I don’t know if I would call myself a photographer. It’s not so much the precision of the picture itself that I concern myself with as much as capturing the memories of whatever it is that I am doing while I am taking the pictures. At pretty much any event I go to with friends, family, Christian and/or Hobbes, I usually have my camera with me to snap at least a few pics to help encapsulate it into memory. And at the end of every year, I put them together along with other mementos into a scrapbook for a Christmas gift for Christian, a tradition that started 1.5 years into our relationship together and will now be entering its 7^th iteration this holiday season.

Since we moved to the west coast, my trips home to Pennsylvania to visit my family have become much less frequent than when I lived a short 90 miles away in Washington, DC. Like anything that was once plentiful and then becomes rare, I now appreciate these visits much more than I used to, and I think the same is true for them seeing me. Pretty much every time I go home, I have my camera in hand, snapping as many pictures as I can of my nephews as they grow up too fast, my grandmother sipping her standard glass of champagne, and other family moments. Often when I call my mom she references having just had dinner with my brother and wife or that my nephews had all just left after spending an afternoon in the pool. I have to admit it’s sometimes hard to hear the everyday things that happen there that I’m not a part of by virtue of where I have chosen to settle my life.

This past weekend, Christian’s mom and stepdad (Jane and Skip) arrived with a moving truck from Dallas to move here to the Bay Area. They had asked if they could borrow our SUV for awhile as they run all of the errands that you need to when you are moving into a new house. So I drove out to see them yesterday to welcome them to San Francisco and check out their new house. Melissa and Alex (C's sister and husband) were also there, with their two adorable little boys, and it was quite a site to see them as they are unpacking in their new digs, just a few minutes from where Melissa lives and about 30 min from our place.

I spent about an hour there, getting the tour of the house, hearing about the plans they have to decorate, and regaling at the size of their yard, as it will be Hobbes’ new vacation home when we are away. After that, I popped over to Melissa and Alex’s and played trains with their 3-year old, Alister for a bit. Then I went upstairs to hang out ("visit", as C calls it) with the adults for awhile, also playing “Mike Tyson’s Punch Out” on Alex’s rad original Nintendo that he got from Ebay a month ago. Then it was time to go, so Alex and Alister drove me back to my house, and we made plans for me to come back out for dinner sometime this week or next.

Once I was home last night, I realized that I had not taken my camera along and therefore took no pictures. And as much as I love to usually commemorate big days like yesterday, what I’ve come to realize is that because of Jane, Skip, Melissa, Alex, Alister and Beckett’s proximity to where we live, we’re going to have lots of days like this. Families who live close to each other do stuff like this all the time; hanging out during the day, eating dinner together, giving each rides, etc. Things like these are going to become much more commonplace, and therefore, the need to take pictures to capture the “preciousness” of it will become less.

Not that I won’t appreciate the increase in family time; if anything, being so far from the family that I grew up with makes me even more eager to invest in the family that I married into here. But for the first time as an adult, I’ll get to have a family living in the same town that I am. What a great feeling.

So my camera may not be used quite as often on these family days, but that’s okay. We’ll just have to take additional trips to Pennsylvania to appreciate coming home to SF and our family here even more.

Part of Something Good (Part 2)

2006-10-30T21:27:00.000-08:00

I wrote earlier about getting involved in helping to design Yahoo's first foray into marketing directly to the gay community with the Pride site we rolled out last summer. As that project was winding down in June, I had the opportunity to get involved with another volunteer design project that while not as personal to me, ended up being pretty satisfying as well.

The Yahoo Employee Foundation (YEF) is an entirely employee funded and managed organization that gives grants to local non-profits for causes centered around the environment and local community. It's unique in that it has no corporate oversight; the board is made up entirely of employees and the funding comes entirely through donations that employees make. The group organizes large volunteer opportunities like re-building local homes and gift drives for local kids. Twice a year, donors can sponsor their favorite non-profit to receive a grant, and the organization has given away hundreds of thousands of dollars in its 5+ years of existence. It's a feel-good group that makes me proud to be a Yahoo, and I got involved last year by beginning to donate a small part of my paycheck each week and by joining the Communications Committee.

YEF's website was last redesigned in 2000 or so, and it looked that way. The layout, fonts, and palette were hopelessly outdated; much in the way of a leisure suit, what looked good then certainly did not look good now. It also smacked of the late 90s/early 00s trend of building a site that was not much more than brochure-ware, with limited or no functionality. So a small team of us swooped in to upgrade the site, and it rolled out a few weeks ago with the launch of the annual fundraising campaign, and you can see a screen shot above.

My involvement was again at the conceptual design and information architecture level, as well as art directing and managing the site through production and release. The visual design was done by the designer who works with in my team at Customer Care and she did a great job. The site now looks like it belongs in the modern day and we have plans for adding more functionality in the coming months.

I used to struggle with knowing that I wanted to volunteer somewhere, but I just didn't know how or where. For now, it seems I've found my niche helping out on these do-good side projects that take advantage of my design and management skills. As I mentioned before, it's been largely Christian's influence that has caused me to get involved in these types of volunteer projects, and I thank him greatly for it. His commitment to the greater good is certainly starting to work its way on to me, and I'm certainly better for it.

** As for my day job, we just rolled out a new version of Yahoo! Help Central with a nifty module that pulls content in from Yahoo! Answers, where users ask and answer questions themselves. Check it out at http://help.yahoo.com.

Worst. Schwag. Ever.

2006-10-24T22:56:00.000-07:00

Part of the fun of working for a Silicon Valley firm is all of the free stuff you get. I've been decently lucky so far to pick up a couple of t-shirts, a gym bag, and a couple of jackets with Yahoo! proudly emblazoned on them. A lot of people wear this stuff to work and some even make a hobby of collecting the stuff. There's even a website, called Valleyschwa g, which is dedicated to allowing people to swap stuff from their company's for others. The name itself is a take-off of the tech gossip blog, Valleywag.

I know. This is nerd's paradise. Bear with me.

A few weeks ago was "National Customer Service Week" (did you somehow miss it?) and being part of the Y! Customer Care group, we had a lot of fun stuff happen. Breakfast one day, ice cream the next, and the week culminated with handouts of a super comfy new fleece that is modestly labeled with a Y! Customer Care logo on the front and a Y! 2006 on the back, which will enter heavy rotation for me once it starts to get a bit cooler here in SF. But we also received something this week that is beyond description. See the picture to the right here.

It's a pen! It's a lanyard! It's a globe! It's a back scratcher! It's a relay baton?! It's a lot of things combined into one that leaves the imagination running wild as to who or what could actually use this thing. Its hard to tell by the pic, but it's about 3x the width and 2x the length of an actual pen, which makes it really hard to hold, despite the handy black grip at the bottom. The globe does spin, which is handy... I guess. We all had a good chuckle about these thing-a-mo-bobs, as everyone was aware of how hideous they were, and went back to work shortly after they were distributed.

But I must say, a worse schwag gaffe came from my former company, the old US Airways. Times were tough for most of the time I was at the airline and beyond the travel benefits, freebies were hard to come by. Budgets were being slashed left and right, salaries were being cut, jobs were being eliminated, etc, so the corporation was hardly in a place to be able to give stuff away, and I think most of us who were left after all of the layoffs collectively understood that. I even started holding a pot-luck each Christmas at my house that became a 4-year tradition in my group.

But one year, a few days before Christmas, I came home from work and found a white box in front of my door. It was about 2 feet high and about 1.5 feet wide. There was no return address on it and naturally, I was curious as to what it was and who it could be from. I took it inside and quickly opened it. Inside, I found a giant cylindrical block of cheese, like in the pic here, with a small navy US Airways sticker on top of it. No card, no note, no anything other than a huge block of cheese. Um, okay?

At work the next day, people timidly started to talk about the mysterious block of cheese. Had it only been sent to a select group of people? Who had actually sent it? Had the company got a giant shipment of cheese that couldn't be used elsewhere, so they sent it to us? Like the current season of "Lost", way more questions were brought up than answers presented. Before long, emails started going around with "The Top 50 Things You Can Do with the Cheese", including things like doorstopper and giant hockey puck. If I had still had that list, I would post more, it was deliriously hilarious and provided some much needed laughs in the office, but I don't think that was the intent.

I suppose whoever had the idea of giving employees something for Christmas had his or her heart in the right place. The company had taken a lot of things away from employees over the previous years and the thought was genuine. But as they say, execution counts as well, and in this area as it did with lots of other things, the company couldn't have stumbled more. I mean, a 5 pound block of cheese? It ended up only engendering more ill will towards the company from an already disenfranchised employee group.

So as Yahoo! weathers a round of bad press about the missed earnings these past two quarters and continues to see the stock be hammered, I'm taking solace in some of my past experiences here. As ridiculous as the pen/lanyard/ who-the-hell-knows-what-it-is is, it was followed up with something most employees see as an actual "thank you" for all the contributions made to the company that actually engendered the goodwill that schwag is supposed to. The company tries to make a good environment for its employees, and I really appreciate it.

But if I come home in a few weeks and find a small white box on my doorstep, I reserve the right to change that opinion.

I'm Lovin' It

2006-10-19T22:35:00.000-07:00

I spent last week in New York City visiting Christian and as expected, it was a blast. A definite highlight included seeing a taping of David Letterman where Jon Stewart and Nick Lachey were the guests. Stewart was hilarious, almost upstaging Letterman at times, and Lachey was as hot as expected. The entire interview was about his divorce, which I sorta felt bad about until he preformed his new song I Cant Hate You Anymore or whatever its called and I thought this guys is still making tons of money off that relationship, so then I didnt mind as much. Of course, if he needs any comfort, I would be happy to help.

We also went to hear none other than my fantastic-favorite DJ, Kaskade, spin at a mega-club called Pacha, named after one in the clubbing mecca of Ibiza . It was one of those clubs that have 6 floors. It had the works, from a chill downstairs to hip-hop floors, and reminded me of the kind that I used to go to with my girlfriends before I came out, where I sorta liked the music, but never really got the crowd. I was a little concerned by the people in line, which were pretty "bridge and tunnel", as they say. But once inside, it didn't matter much. Christian and Derek managed to find the one gay bartender in the place and we were set with one free round of cocktails after the next. (Membership has its privlidges!) Kaskade didnt come on until 1A, but it was well worth the wait. He played a bunch of songs from his new album, Love Mysterious and the song he played right before we was my all time favorite by him, "Its You, Its Me. What a treat! (Thanks to Lem for the suggestion)

We also ate a number of fantastic restaurants, as expected in New York City . The city is renowned for the variance and quality of the places to eat, with good reason.Particuarly where Christian is living, just south of Tribeca, there were many great new places to discover. An instant favorite for brunch is a place called Kitchenette, which has the best peach jam this side of the stuff my great grandmother used to jar herself and store in the basement of our house. However, as great as most of them were, there always seemed to be something that made it not as good as expected. We visited old favorites such as Rosa Mexicano (pomegranate margaritas are as good as remembered and we sat near Glenn Close, but $28 for a small serving of guacamole???!). Odeon is a 24-hr cafe that was frequented by Andy Warhol and other 80s luminaries back in the day and while the burgers were good, but the end price ended up being ridiculously high. We also visited The Harrison , a swanky place with a great interior and promising appetizers, but alas, my main course came out not cooked enough and was just ok. (at least my Dad picked up the check for that one, thanks Dad!) So while each place had tons of great things going for them, the end feeling usually left me wanting something more.

So I flew back Sunday night, and after only eating brunch before I left, by the time I got back to SF, I was fairly hungry. T-Todd was sweet enough to stay with Hobbes while I was gone, so he picked me up and I was getting ready to take him home when he said Dont tell anyone, but I am really craving McDonalds. Do you want to stop there on the way to my place? (Sorry Todd, guess I just told people..) And so we did and I must say, the meal was pure heaven.Two cheeseburgers and a large fry, and I was a happy man. This meal cost about $5 and all I could do was think about all of the $$ I spent on these fancy restaraunts in NYC and if Im being truly honest, none gave me even close to the pleasure I got from woofing down those burgers and fries.

Does this mean I am giving up on fine dining for Taco Bell Hell? Not exactly, but it did stop and make me think. Where else can $5 buy so much culinary happiness?

Maybe I'm more "bridge and tunnel" than I thought....

A San Francisco Treat

2006-10-09T18:41:00.000-07:00

This has happened a few times to me. I order something from Netflix that I think I should watch, like a classic that I have never seen, or one of the recent heavyweight movies I missed at the theatres. But then it arrives, and I just can't bring myself to watch it. Other movies come and go, multiple shows from Tivo are viewed, and the movie sits there on top of the DVD player, unloved and unwatched. So I resolve that if-I-don't-watch-it-by-this- weekend-I-will-send-it-back. But something nags at me, like you should really watch this film and you've paid all that money to let it sit there collecting dust.

I've gone through this process a few times, with recent highly rated movies such as Munich and Capote, only to end up sending them back because I just don't make the time to sit down and watch, and after they sit there for over a month, I figure I probably never will. Well, I finally sat down to watch one of these this past weekend, and what a treat it turned out to be.

I watched the Alfred Hitchcock classic, Vertigo, a movie that I had never seen. The basic premise is about a former detective that watches a colleague fall to death, becomes powerfully afraid of heights, and retires. An old college buddy asks him to take on a special project that involves following his wife, who he is convinced has been inhabited by a spirit of a woman who has been dead for over 100 years. In traditional Hitchcock themes, nothing is what it seems and the plot certainly kept me interested, as well as the actors, including James Stewart's lead role, Kim Novak as the blonde bombshell, and a WAY pre-Dallas Barbara Bel Geddes in the role as the detective's best friend and unrequited love. At 2+ hours, the movie is a bit sprawling and some of the effects that I'm sure were frightening back then wouldn't even scare a kid on an amusement park ride, but I'm glad I kept watching. The twist of the plot puts anything M Night Shamalyn has done to shame, the score is hauntingly beautiful, and the last 2 minutes are simply stunning.

But the real star of the movie to me was San Francisco. Released in 1958, Hitchcock chose to make the setting of the city a true part of the film. From the Golden Gate Bridge to the Presidio to Coit Tower, many of the familiar icons are represented in all of their glory. The pic to the right is from a key scene in the movie by the Golden Gate. Beyond that, however, was the representation of a gloriously colorful and clean city, filled with people dressed in suits and fur tulles going about their business. The shots that were filmed along the streets of the city shocked me with their pristine and I'll just say it, clean, nature. The remasteredremastered the movie did a terrific job of presenting the 50s theme of innocence that is deliciously juxtaposed against the darkness and fear of the plot and characters. As I've continued to settle into feeling like a San Franciscan, this movie made me proud to be a resident of the city.

So I highly recommend to anyone from the Bay Area to add this movie to your queue and don't let it languish. It's a real San Francisco Treat!

Taking a Bite

2006-10-02T23:37:00.000-07:00

The Top 10 Reasons I FINALLY Switched to a Mac

10) They are just so freaking cool

9) I got tired of being the only designer in the world who doesn't use one for his primary computer

8) The latest ads are hilarious (and convincing)

7) Garage Band will allow me to make my own mixes and podcasts (coming soon!)

6) I was pretty tired of CTRL + ALT + DELETE

5) The 24" monitor really is stunning

4) Derek & Lem and Phil & Ted and especially Alex each have one and, frankly, that bothered me

3) All of the main stuff I used on the PC (iPod, music, photos, etc) I was able to easily transport over

2) I've wanted one for over 5 years

1) Did I mention how freaking cool they are??

So this is the first of hopefully many blog entries and other creations to come that will be created on my new Mac. I'm happy to finally be part of the club!

Scary Fast, and Green Too!

2006-09-27T22:44:00.001-07:00

Innovation: The act of introducing something new.

I think there is plenty of innovation happening at Yahoo!, but it's always worthwhile to take a look outside of your industry for inspiration. Today, some of that was brought to our front door, via a speaker series held on campus. Tesla Motors is a start-up company based here in the Bay Area, but rather than building the latest internet widget, they build cars. But not any cars, mind you-- very, very fast cars that oh-yea-by-the-way, also are electric. The CEO of the company and some of the staff members came into Yahoo! today to talk about their work in progress and allow those of us who are car geeks to marvel at what they have created, and also get the chance to take a look at one of the 10 prototype cars that have been built so far.

It sure looks like a modern day sports car, with many Lotus/British references, but still maintaining a unique look. It is run by a battery that sits in the trunk (that's the white box in the pic to the left here) that is smaller than a car battery, and that is all there is for power. It can do 0-60 mph in 4 seconds, faster than pretty much every sports car out there, including big names like the Corvette and Porsche 911. It has a range of up to 250 miles on one charge, well enough to get around town and for all but the longest commutes. Simply plug it in when you get home, and the next morning, its ready to go- it gets the equivalent of 135 mpg (!) and costs a penny per mile to operate. Amazing stuff, despite the accompanying $100k price tag.

The inspiration for all of this? The desire to want to be environmentally conscious while also wanting to actually enjoy driving that car have thus far been totally separate. Yes, we can all marvel at how nifty the Toyota Prius looks and that it gets 50+ mpg, but by pretty much all accounts, its about as fun to drive as a Corolla. And while all of the sports cars out there are no doubt fun to drive, the sub-teen mpg is hard to swallow for any environmentally-conscious car enthusiast. Thus, the Tesla Roadster.

Obviously there are hundreds of innovations in the design, build and engineering of this car. However as a person who likes to drive cars fast but also would like to be as socially responsible as possible, this car creates a new niche and potentially a new market altogether. Tesla still faces many hurdles to see if it will ultimately work in the marketplace. They won't even ship their first car until next year, and have ambitious plans for a sedan to follow in 2009/2010.

But the innovation of introducing something so immediately understandable yet at the same time so new, to me, is the real revelation of the Tesla. Motor on!

** Read more about the Tesla on their official site

You Gotta Have a Plan.... Or Do You?

2006-09-26T11:56:00.000-07:00

Christian and I go back and forth a lot about planning. He is an uber-planner; me, not so much. I prefer to let things happen organically—when things happen you didn’t expect, that makes it even better to me. I’ve been able to get through life so far pretty well this way, but being married to someone who feels the opposite, this has at time caused “strain” on us. With him being gone this fall, I’ve really managed to keep myself busy with lots of plans, so perhaps I’m not as organic as I think. We’ve had a few longer-ranging plans come from when he and I take trips together (ie, the "Bermuda Plan" called for settling down a bit with a dog/SUV/computer, the "Idaho Plan" called for C going to grad school in CA and the "Africa Plan" calls for kids in the next 5 years…) but other than that, I don’t know how much long term planning I really do.

I was lucky enough last week to be invited to attend a lunch with Jerry Yang, one of the original founders of Yahoo! He’s been pretty much a celebrity since he and David Filo famously created the company in trailers on the Stanford campus, on the covers of many, many magazines, and worth well over (yes, say it like Dr Evil), 1 BILLION dollars. The employees of Yahoo! are known as Yahoos, and his title is Chief Yahoo.

So after the company started growing so fast and he stopped knowing everyone’s names, he started this program called “Chat and Chow”, where two dozen or so people get invited to come and have lunch with him in one of the classrooms on campus. We were informed in the email invite that the format is intended to be very open and casual, but you never know how these things are going to go. How many times have all of us been to “informal” events with company leaders that are little more than meet and greets where afterwards mgmt crosses “Employee Engagement” off the to-do list until next quarter.

Happily, it ended up being a really interesting session. There were about 20 people there, all from the UED (User Experience & Design) team, from varying levels of background and experience. The session started with each person saying who they were, what they did, how long they have been with Y!, a cool innovation that they’ve seen at Y! or outside, and a question for Jerry.

It was a neat way to start off the meeting, as the wildly varying degree of innovations that each person saw was really cool. It ranged from a baby book to the Yahoo! Answers product to a new screwdriver design. The questions were also interesting—many centered around the new brand advertising Yahoo! launched this week (see the adverts here—I like the HOUSE one, but the car one is pretty lame to me) to how the different orgs in the company could be more nimble to enabling an environment that encourages more innovation.

Jerry proved to be as humble and down to earth as the press reports him to be. He was almost an awkward speaker, looking at the floor a lot, but still had a lot of good insights to share and was very open with us. He talked about the organizational difficulties of comparing ourselves to start-ups, which are often competitors in certain areas, how the UED organization needs to continue to be stronger, and other interesting tidbits from someone with his level of access. The session was fairly interactive, mostly engaging, and I think most of the group enjoyed it.

He actually closed the session with my question – “Where do you see Y! in 5 years, and how accurate were you in your predicition about what we’d be doing 5 years ago now?” He chuckled and said “not really that close” and went on to talk about the rapid acceleration of social media and other factors that didn’t seem as close in 2001. He postulated a bit about life for Yahoo in 2011 and some things we should focus on, but openly said that even with the maturing of the internet space, its still really hard to know.

So what does all this mean? Is it better to develop a plan and stick to it? Or is it better to just figure it out as you go? I think, as with most things, the right answer is somewhere in the middle. It's important to have an idea of where you want to be, but also be flexible enough to adjust as things happen in life and business. Not a bad message to take away from meeting with one of the biggest celebrities in Silicon Valley.

Mr Fix It

2006-09-22T19:31:00.000-07:00

So I am going to admit to something that no man ever wants to: I am very unable to build anything. From the most simple of constructions (putting together a TV stand) and household items like changing a light fixture, I have difficulty even thinking about this stuff, much less actually trying to do it. As Christian says, when we think about renovations, we don’t pick up a hammer, we pick up the phone... for a contractor. Despite being the son of the owner of a construction company, I just never picked any of that up. Call it the fabulous gene, if you will.

And even though I am a software designer, I have largely remained blissfully naïve about anything to do with hardware. Christian was sweet enough to set up our computer when we got it a few years ago, as with each ensuing move we’ve had. Routers? Motherboards? Video cards? Huh?

All that came to a screeching halt over the few days. Our home PC was on the fritz and with Christian away all fall, it was up to me to get it fixed or be without the internet at home. As with anyone else, the fear of not being able to download music, check my email, pay my bills, and, um, oogle at Big Muscle each night was clearly the driver here to get it fixed.

The issue seemed to be something similar to an issue we had before, where the monitor would not go out of power save mode, so I was hoping it might be a simple fix. Well, after an hour of screwing around myself, then checking the online FAQs for about 30 minutes, chatting with an agent from Gateway for another hour, and then a 15 min call that cost $3/min, my cadre of support folks and I seemed to locate the problem- the power source in the PC was blown. The agent told me they were easy to replace, I could go to Best Buy the next day and be all set. I asked him again if it was easy to do and he said it should take about 10 minutes. “Ok, maybe I can do this”, I say to myself uneasily.

So the next night I sit down and open the box of the power supply, hoping there are very explicit instructions. Instead, try a sheet that basically said “see your computer’s instructions”, which of course were lost in the ether of many moves. I was able to find some instructions online and despite a few setbacks that most people would probably breeze through, about an hour later, I had the new power supply installed in the PC—yes!

Not so fast. When I booted up, it worked, but the monitor still did not come on—ugh! So back on the chat site I go, not wanting to pay another $30 to have to find my answer. Again, after about an hour of back and forth, the agent tells me the video card is blown as well, and I need to replace that as well. Um, are those easy to install also?

So after another trip to Best Buy, I feel ready to go again. My video card was in the motherboard, so I had to spend another 30 min chatting to make sure nothing special was required. Let her rip, says the agent, so I try it and about 30 min later, seem ready to go. I boot it up, but nothing. So I open it again, making sure all of the connections are good. Another 10 min go by, and I try it again.

And OH MY GOD, it worked! I literally danced around the apartment for about 10 minutes, Hobbes must have thought I was crazy. I actually did it. Another roadblock would be ahead, as I wanted to back up all of our photos and music in anticipation of getting a new computer (a Mac—hurrah!) and the power source for the external hard drive was nowhere to be found. A little crafty thinking later, I realized the plug for our iPod alarm clock looked to be the same size, and sure enough, it was. A few hours later, everything was backed up and in the next few weeks, I should be getting the new Mac!!

Patience, persistence, and a little ingenuity helped me get through this mess and now the PC is back online. So am I ready to try and start building things? Not exactly. But it feels good to know that if I tried, I probably could.

Of Mushrooms and Princesses

2006-09-15T10:43:00.000-07:00

I've never been much of a gamer, but I have loved the Nintendo series of Mario games pretty much from the start. The original Nintendo was released in the fall of 1985 and my brothers and I begged my parents to get it for Christmas, but they insisted that the system and games ($30/game!!) were just too expensive. So it became one of the best days EVER when that Christmas morning, "Santa Claus" delivered a sparkling new Nintendo system and the game that came with it, as we all now know, was Super Mario Bros.

It was a mad scramble to get it hooked up the TV in the family room and thus began the many, many, many, MANY hours I would spend playing this game and its subsequent sequels. Among my favorites were Super Mario Bros 3, where Mario could gain the raccoon tail to knock out his opponents, and of course, Super Mario Kart, where Mario raced against some of his classic opponents in a knock around go-kart style that included the ability to knock off others with heat-seeking mushrooms and banana peels. And of course, Mario's cause was always the noble one-- to flatten the evil dragons in quest to rescue the princess!

After college though, despite the newer releases on Nintendo 64, Game Cube, etc., Mario seemed to leave my life. Until last month, when I was home visiting. I was headed to bed after a nice visit with my mom. I walked by the kids game room, where my 15-year old nephew (Tyler) has all the latest games like Xbox 360, Playstation 24, and Portable Whatever-they-are-calling-it-these-days. But much to my surprise, I heard a very familiar tune coming from the room, so I poked my head in and EUREKA, they are playing the original Super Mario Bros on an original Nintendo machine that he found in the garage of my parents house. Somehow, after all these years, the system and game were still working and my nephew and his friend were playing it in all its glory. Tyler, he who spends many hours playing the latest games with people he doesn't know on the internet, with the infinite layers these games have, said the simplicity of the game intrigued, and frankly, vexed him. I promptly said "Move over kids, let the old timer show you how its done!". And despite the fact that I haven't played the game in well over 10 years, I somehow was able to remember where the secret warp zones and extra coins where! The next day, I told my brother Joe about it, who used to hang out in my room and watch me play, and it was game on like 1986 all over again.

The other instance came this week when my colleague Leslie mentioned she recently received a GameBoy DS for a gift. (that's DS, as in Double Screen, to the uniformed like me) She had the Mario Kart game and I asked if I could play for a bit. I did, and said it was fun, and she told me that I should buy one too so we could play against each other! I was tempted..... But what really pushed me over the edge was yesterday she brought in the Super Mario Bros game for the system. I thought I would play for a few min like I did with the other game, but over an hour and completing 2 worlds later, I was hooked. Its an updating of the game with some fun twists (there's a BIG mushroom which allows you to smash everything on the screen and also a tiny mushroom which allows you to go places you couldn't otherwise, etc etc) but still the same over simplistic yet oddly engrossing set-up-- smash mushrooms, collect coins, save princess.

As it should be.

** For anyone who is into this like me, check out details on the new Wii from Nintendo. Looks prety awesome to me...

Effort

2006-09-11T20:59:00.000-07:00

Effort: The use of physical or mental energy to do something.

To me, effort is one of the biggest currencies people have out there. I mean, it takes effort to keep a good relationship, be it with your significant other, or friends. It takes effort to do a good job at work. It takes effort to know what you want and go after it. It's something that we all have the ability to do, but only some really make the effort to do.

So I'd like to share some examples of efforts my friends have made recently that have touched me:

Brian and I used to live just blocks apart and work one floor apart, but its taken some extraordinary effort on his part to really make us the great friends we've become. After we moved to SF and he moved to Frankfurt, Germany, he took the time to come the whole way here for a long weekend in the Fall of 2004. It it ended up one of those incredible bonding weekends where we talked about all kinds of things we never had before and learned that we had way more in common than previously thought. He's made the effort to come here at 5 times since then, including this past weekend, and ever time he visits, it's always a blast, and I always feel closer with him after he leaves. I know it takes a tremendous amount of effort to come the whole way here, and I really appreciate it.

Our good pal Lee also come from DC to visit for a weekend last month. Surprisingly, this was his first visit to the Bay Area, and he made the most of it. He borrowed the MINI to drive up the coast as he experienced the stunning scenery of Point Reyes and Muir Woods. He had asked if he could use his iPod while in the MINI, but I sadly reported that I didn't have any connections for the car. It was a brief conversation; I told him I tons of CDs he could borrow and left it at that. So what do I receive in the mail a week later? A hook-up for the iPod that uses that radio rather than the tape player, so now the MINI is all set up for iPod motoring! Of course I didn't expect any kind of gift for hosting him. But he took the effort to not only give me something I will make frequent use of, but something I didn't even know I wanted.

While we were in Africa last month, Todd stayed at our place for some of the time to look after it and make use of our laundry and cars. We were glad to have someone stay there since we were gone so long and he even picked us up at the airport on time. But there were a few extra "effort" touches when we got home that demonstrates what a classy guy he is. He took the time to wash the car and have our place spotless while we were gone, which was great. Beyond that, we found a vase full of flowers and a nice note thanking us for always making him feel at home. While those gestures didn't take nearly as much effort as the cleanings did, they are they ones that touched me more.

So sometimes it's the big things, and sometimes it's the small. I feel pretty lucky to have such thoughtful friends and I can only try and make the effort to let them know how much I appreciate it.

Movement

2006-09-06T22:12:00.000-07:00

** Note to readers-- I'm back online and will be posting much more frequently now, so leave a message and let me know you are still out there! Thanks for stopping by.

I hear a lot about "the gay movement", particularly from the wackos on the far Right fringe, and I wonder what that is. Even as a somewhat-politically minded gay person, I'm not sure I could define what it is. Is it as general as trying to secure equal rights as others? Is it focusing too much on marriage rights? Not enough on what the heck LGBTQQY is? Is it about securing hate crimes legislation? Or maybe just what happens in the gay clubs around the world each Saturday night?

I don't know about that, but I got two really nice reminders of progress while visiting my family in Pennsylvania last weekend. The first came from my mom at funeral for an older family member. After the service in the graveyard, we saw an old family friend who I had not seen since I was very small. She first introduced my brother and his wife, and in then turned to me and Christian. I cringed for a moment in fear of the dreaded "friend" label, but in her next breath, introduced me and "my partner" Christian. This was the first time I could ever remember her using that term for Christian. It may not be a big deal to some, but for my mom to get over the "friend" label hump felt like really good progress to me.

The other, more surprising one, came later that night. I was playing video games (the original Nintendo, playing "Super Mario Bros", another entry forthcoming about that...) with my 15 yr-old nephew (Tyler) and his best friend, Jeff. Christian and I have been together for 8 years and he's been around my family extensively since then. I never really had "the talk" about Christian's and my relationship with my nephew, esp since C has been around for almost as long as he can remember, and I figured that was really up to my sister, his mom. So I was explaining to them about driving down from New York, since I flew in there (about a 4-hour drive from home) the night before since Christian is spending all fall there for training for his new job. After I said that, Jeff says to me with all of the possible sincerity a 15-yr old boy can muster, "But will you guys be able to see each other?".

I was immensely touched and blown away by the fact that the first question a high school kid in the small town that I grew up in was to show genuine concern that Christian and I would be able to see each other over the 4 months that we'll be separated. I smiled and told him that I would be spending a few weeks over the fall working from the Y! offices in New York, and that we were hoping the time would go by quickly until Christian came back to SF. When I was his age, I couldn't even fathom the word "gay", much less what a gay relationship looked like, much less to show concern for someone I barely knew in a relationship like that.

Is that the kind of "gay movement" that will keep Pat Robertson up at night? Maybe not. But it sure felt like moving ahead to me.

Pics My Mom Probably Wouldn't Want to See

2006-07-23T23:12:00.000-07:00

We're back from Africa and as predicted, it was the trip of a lifetime! I'll have more anecdotes and photos from the trip later this week, but these two pictures are from the more adventorous side. The one on the left from the Zambezi River, where miraculously, we did not flip the boat on that rapid! Christian's arms are in the top left of the frame hanging on for dear life and the rest of us in the boat are covered in water-- it's a tremendous shot. The other is from the "gorge swing", also in Zambia, where we stepped off a cliff, free fell for a few seconds, and then swung back and forth in the gorge. After looking at the pics, we concluded these were probably ones that our collective Moms would rather not see....

Moment In Time

2006-06-22T05:45:00.000-07:00

Christian and I are set to go on our trip of a lifetime to Southern Africa-including stops in Botswana, Zambia, Mozambique and of course South Africa over the next 3 weeks. It should be absolutely amazing and I hope to be able to make a few postings from the trip, but I'm not sure of what internet access will be like in places like the Okavango Delta and Victoria Falls, so I will do the best I can.

Before C started school, we hoped to do some sort of trip like this, but I started so quickly at Yahoo!, that didn't quite work. So now its our turn, and we're celebrating C's graduation, our recent 5-year anniversary and this special moment in time before C heads back to the workforce. As Brenda told us when we got married, people don't stop enough in life to celebrate special moments, so this is what we are trying to do, and who knows what is ahead of us? Things like safaris, rafting and shark diving are on the to-do list but as past travels have shown, its always the unexpected that proves the most memorable. Will it be a stunning view from an oceanside cafe like in Mexico? Or the cows and cemetary game as we crossed the expanses of Costa Rica? I can't wait to find out.

Stay tuned!

Part of Something Better

2006-06-07T20:00:00.000-07:00

One of the things I have always admired about Christian is his commitment to volunteering. Pretty much since I’ve known him, he’s always been involved in some kind of efforts that benefits someone outside of him and his work. This came pretty directly from his mom, who taught him from early on that this type of involvement was important, and Christian has made very good on it, from his involvement with Make a Wish to more recently the Point Foundation.

For some reason, I missed this lesson when I was younger. Its not that my parents aren’t civic-minded (my Mom’s month in New Orleans after the Katrina disaster is a good illustration of that), but for one reason or another, it just never really came up when we were kids. So when I became a grown-up and married Christian, I always admired his conviction with volunteering, but struggled with how to get do something myself.

I’m proud to say I’ve found something pretty cool. I wrote earlier about Yahoo! Pride, an employee group that caters to the LGBT (that’s lesbian/gay/bisexual/transgender for the folks at home) audience, and how I helped to program the a new music station called Gay Club Mix. That was neat, but my involvement was pretty minimal. After that launched, Brady, the leader of the group, Brian, a fabulous MBA intern who helped prove the worth of the GLBT audience to Yahoo! during his internship and will be joining Yahoo! this fall, and I wondered how we could really get Yahoo! to get behind the community in a much more visible way. We ended up with the idea of a promotional page for Gay Pride, and I’m proud to say that it launched today. I provided the conceptual design and wireframes, basically figuring out what was going to go on the page and where. From there, I handed my design off to Brian and Ernie, a set of 2 amazingly talented guys who provided the visual design (the color, fonts, and images) and the web development (actually building the whole thing), and I continued to act as the art director. I’m immensely proud of the result, and you can see it at http://events.yahoo.com/pride06/.

Brian, Brady and I agreed from the start that we would try and leverage as many of the community elements as possible from across Yahoo! and to design it in a way that would be relatively easy to implement. After all, this was a volunteer effort for the 3 of us and anone else who would get involved, above and beyond our normal daily responsibilities! Highlights include exposing community pictures of Pride from Flickr, the wildly popular photo sharing site Yahoo! acquired last summer and Pride events from upcoming.org, where users can share events with the community. Brian’s visual design, with the avatars in the header and the use of playful color throughout the page is really fantastic, and it’s all built in the latest coding technology, meaning its very light and flexible. When we found out that Travelocity was going to be a sponsor, it was icing on the cake.

So it launched early this morning and we're getting a lot of positive feedback internally, from people as high as the Chief Marketing Officer. It's a great feeling to combine two thing I love-- design and the gay community-- with something I've been wanting to do-- volunteering. We hope this is just the start of marketing to the LGBT community at Y! and I can't wait to find something like this again.

Love is in the Air

2006-06-05T19:35:00.000-07:00

There's just something fantastic about love. In the past two days, I've been able to experience or witness some different stages of it, make me appreciate it even more.

Friday night, Christian and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary. We were treated to an extra special early present last weekend when we attended the wedding of our good friends from DC, Curtis and Ryan. These guys are one of those couples who just make you happy to be around, and the wedding was a pure reflection of that. The outpouring of love and support each of their families provided, including such wonders as each of their moms walking them down the aisle together and Curtis' sister giving one of the toasts, was remarkable. Additionally, getting to celebrate this occasion with all of our best friends from DC was great as well, feeling the love from a circle of people who, despite some of us who have moved away, will probably always be the best group of friends we will ever have. And lastly, as and icing on the cake surprise for us, Brenda Grisham, the woman who conducted our ceremony 5 years back, was the person they had selected to do their wedding. We had not seen her since our own special night and it was a real treat to catch up with her and marvel in all the amazing things that have happened since we got married. (that's us with her)

Friday night was the actual day of our engagement and we went out to dinner at a place called Palamino, in downtown SF. The night before our wedding, we treated our families and best ladies to a dinner at the Palamino in DC, so the restaurant has special meaning to us. We told the waitress when we sat down that we were celebrating our 5th anniversary, and she told us that she had already had 2 other anniversaries and an engagement that night! We don't usually go out to dinner with just us, so it was a nice time to reflect on our 5 years and talk about what we hope will happen over the next 5. It was a warm night in the city, so after that, we strolled along the Emarcadero along the SF Bay and took in the all of the lights of the bridge and the buildings in the city. But by far, the highlight of the night was what we spent most of the dinner talking about-- naming the two kids we hope to have by the next big anniversary. I look forward to telling them lovingly someday how and when we figured out what their names will be.

And lastly, we spent a deliriously tender evening on Saturday night with our gang here in San Francisco. The setting was Supper Club, which puts cocktails, a 5-course fancy dinner, beds, and performance art into a blender, mixes up, and serves for utter enjoyment. There were 12 of us, set up over 3 beds where you could literally lay, and the best thing about it was how you could move around and talk to each person in the group. With us were two of our best SF friends, Maria (in the white) and Titus (in the black) both who had relatively new boyfriends visiting from out of town, and both in the mad theros of newfound love. What a fantastic thing to observe, and over the course of the 3 or so hours we were there, feel a part of. The hanging on every word said, the passionate gazes, and the hoping of the best for the future were all there, and I couldn't be happier for both of them. As I told Maria, although the intensity of that time doesn't always stay, the underlying passion can and should, and I feel fortunate enough to be in a relationship where it does. Moreover, getting to spend time with all of my favorite people here in our new home for a night was just what the doctor ordered to cure me of any home sickness after last weekend.

So although its not quite springtime anymore and I'm still trying to get used to these cold SF summers, I really feel like love is in the air. And what a beautiful thing it is.