Measuring Up

When do acquaintances become friends? Friends become good friends? Good friends become best friends? New friends become old friends? And so on.

I'm not exactly sure of that answer, but I am happy to write a post about our good pals Jon and Dana Shank, and seeing that gradual motion over the past 2 or so years. He was a classmate of C's at Stanford and she is his wife, who I became close with through our gang of SO's (significant others, in Stanford-speak). On paper, I don't know if we would have matched up well. They both went to Stanford for undergrad, he was BMOC (big-man-on-campus) with his baseball scholarship and fraternity membership, she was in a popular sorority, etc, and they already had a full docket of friends coming into business school. We were the gay couple from the east coast who didn't know anyone.

Thankfully, Jon and Christian met early on in first quarter and hit it off. We went skiing together in Tahoe for C's birthday their first year in school and they rode with us on the way to and from, where we really got to know each other (and disoverd a common love of Chipotle, which we waited 100+ miles to eat at). GSB events were always more fun when they were around. We were in the ski house in Tahoe last year, and went to Costa Rica for spring break. In short, lots of really really fun common events where we would always enjoy each other's company in the midst of a cool backdrop. (well, mostly cool-- I don't know if you could really call the GSB Auction "cool"....) We affectionately called each other our GSB "best-ies", or slang for best friends in the world of Mrs. Shank.

But it's really been since Jon and Christian graduated last year that I have seen our friendship evolve to the next step. They still live in Palo Alto as Dana finishes her last year in law school, so we're not as physically close as we used to be, but we've still managed to make time at least once a month or so to get together. It can be as casual as a dinner over at their place, or as it was this morning, a brunch in Burlingame, which is about half way between SF and Palo Alto. We sat down this morning and quickly began catching up on all of the latest stuff happening in our lives; C's new job, our hunt for a house, Jon's job, Dana's final stretch in school, etc etc. After brunch, we bummed around the shops in the neighborhood, hanging out, etc. In short, nothing particularly special.

But it is in that very "non-specialness" that I realized how, in fact, it is. When you are with other people in a fairly mundane setting of a brunch and feel like you can talk about anything and the understanding that they will listen, that's pretty powerful. And there we were, doing just that, not really talking about anything special per se, but as I think back over, it was really fantastic.

They are an extremely positive couple to be around. I'm sure they have their differences, but pretty much every interaction we've had been with them shows that the chemistry that they share between them is infectious; they are very much in love with each other and seem eager to share that with the other people in their lives. They have a very wonderful trait of not only being able to share richly about what is happening in their lives, but also of listening to and richly caring what is happening in ours.

I think about that a lot after we see them; there's no question that I'm able to talk about what's going on in my life. But am I also interested to hear about however I am talking to has to say? Do I really care about what they are talking about? Mostly yes, but sometimes, honestly, no. And am I fully investing in relationships that return this kind of warmth and value, and frankly, not investing in ones that don't? Again, mostly yes, but not always.

Making time to see each other? Learning good lessons from each other? Thoroughly enjoying time together and looking forward to the next? Feeling like I can trust them? I know there's no "official" measuring stick from friends to good friends and so on. But with amazing people like Jon & Dana in my life, it doesn't seem to matter much.

You Gotta Have a Plan (Part 2)

I've written about planning before and well, about my difficulties in this area. I mean, I haven't done so bad this far-- got a great man, a good job, like where I am living, etc. and that all couldn't have just happened by accident, right? But if you ask me where I am going to be in 10 years and what I want to be doing, do I know the answer? Does anyone?

Thankfully, there are people out there who do. One of them is my Dad, and today is a really happy day in the Baker family. He's been someone to look up to all my life for a lot of reasons, but today I get the amazing honor of saying I'm proud of him. You see, about ten years ago, after 25+ years in the construction business, he decided to switch career paths and move to the lighting industry. He became president of a company that an old friend of his had founded but needed a seasoned executive to come in and take to the "next level". I remember when he called me to tell me about it; after serving as VP at his then company for many years, this was his opportunity to actually run a company and the long-term goal would be to grow it large enough so that it would be acquired. I nodded as I listened, even though I didn't really know what he was talking about. Acquired? What does that mean? Why is that a good thing? But it did always stick with me.

One of the most amazing things about my Dad is that although he is one of the funniest people I know, when it comes to work and business, no one takes it more serious. As I have come to learn more about business and Christian was going through his MBA, we would get involved in some pretty hefty discussions about Hanover Lantern. He would proudly tell us about how well the company was doing and talk about the future and his vision for what it would hold. Although we didn't directly talk about it much after that first conversation, he was working his butt off to grow the company and ultimately position it for an acquisition.

And so it has come. The company was acquired yesterday by one of the largest lighting manufacturers in the country. Even better, they are going to keep the company as a separate division so everyone gets to keep their jobs in the same place. That is, except for Dad. He decided that after being his own boss for so long, he just didn't want to work for someone else again. When we spoke this morning after the happy congrats and all, he told me he realized you come to a point in your life where time becomes more important than money, and he wants to spend time with my stepmom, etc. Amazing-- he's teaching me about life even through all of this business stuff.

The first thing I thought this morning when I read the press release (!) about the acquisition was that discussion we had way back when he first told me about the move. Everything he has done with the company has been moving towards this point and he achieved it. He laid out a plan and accomplished it, pure and simple. There's been many before and I'm sure many to come, but what better lesson to get from your Dad?

So while I'm certainly not at his level of planning yet, I'm trying. And I have a brilliant role model to show me how it's done.

Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!

Moments of delight are something we talk about a lot at Yahoo! in terms of product design. When a product takes care of something for you, like say, remembering your personal information from last time you visited a website, that's nice. But when something comes along that anticipates a need you didn't even know you had, that's the true delight.

Christmas came in January this past week when my new Nintendo Wii arrived fresh from a shipment from Ebay. Christian had originally meant it to be a Christmas present and even waited in line over 2 hours (!) at J&R Computer World in NYC when they first came out back then. It wasn't meant to be since they were out by the time he got inside the store and they were all over $600 on Ebay. The one I bough ended up half that price, less than a month later, a good lesson in Christmas buying hysteria.

So the set-up for this system in case you don't know is that it comes with a controller that is a bit different than most video game systems. This controller is actually used as an instrument in the games. The system came with a sports disc that includes seemingly hum-drum games like tennis, golf and boxing. Except this time, rather than pressing buttons to serve and volley, you actually swing the controller to hit the ball. It's most impressive in tennis, where you actually have to stand in front of the TV and dart back and forth to get the ball. I got a second controller and Christian and I actually played tennis in our living room last night and worked up a bit of a sweat doing it!! What fun, and for any of you in SF who want to come over and give it a try, let me know! Playing the game, you can really feel like the designers of the system decided to just make it, well, plain fun, and were looking to delight the users of it.

I had a similar experience with the nifty Nike/iPod connector that my brother and sister-in-law sent me for Christmas. Its a small piece you can plug into your iPod to keep track of how long and far you go when running. I've used it a few times so far and think its a great invention. But I had an extra delight when I went for a run earlier this week-- when I completed the run, the normal female voice-over came on the headphones and said the time of the distance of the run, as it usually does.

But then a man's voice comes on and says "This is Lance Armstrong. That was your longest run so far! Congrats and keep up the good work." My first reaction was "are you kidding me?!!" and then I thought "Thanks, Lance!" and I can't wait to hear that again. How incredibly motivating and a small but thoughtful touch the designers added.

So I didn't really ever think that I wanted to play tennis in my living room or have a doo-hickey that connects to my music player to keep track of when I exercise. But I wouldn't want to live without them now. And to that, I'm sure the owners of the products are delighted themselves.

Free Music!

Everybody, including me, loves free stuff. I remember when the original Napster came out—it was before I even had a computer at home. I was visiting my Mom and decided to see what all the hoopla was about. In a matter of minutes, I was downloading a lot of music that I could only dream of finding before, especially in the arena of dance/electronic music that I like. I freeloaded for awhile until Napster and its successor Kazaa were eventually shut down; around the same time, I got my first iPod and iTunes came out for the PC, so downloading became legal and guilt-free.

But free downloads are back, dear dance music fans, this time in the form of podcasts. (For the uninitiated, podcasts are like radio shows that people record with their home computers and can consist of music, talk, video, or a combination of all three.) DJs and producers alike create sets of music, upload them to iTunes or their own websites, and allow users to download them, add them to their iPods and they are off. Most often they are sets about an 1-2 hours long, and they are totally free. Yes, you can’t rip singles you like out of them, but I’ve still found it to be a great way to discover music. If you subscribe, any time a new one is up, it automatically downloads and you can have it set to sync to your iPod. Its like getting a free mix CD every time one shows up!

So here’s a list of my current favorites:

Boramusic.com HouseCast

A DJ from Hartford , CT (of all places) named Kered is solidly my favorite podcast. He is a DJ and a promoter for events in Hartford, so each one consists of a 30-40 min set by Kered himself, followed by an interview with whatever DJ is playing his club that weekend, and then a 30-40 min set by that DJ. The guest DJs are some giant names—Deep Dish, Gabriel & Dresden, and the like. But it’s usually Kered’s sets that I prefer—chock full of the funky electro house sound I’ve come to like since I moved to SF. (Warning—the interviews are usually wildly insipid—the DJs say crap like “I like to take the people on a journey” and stuff like that—just hold down fast forward on your iPod during these parts and enjoy the music!) Often times when we are out, I’ll hear a song that I recognize and realize it was on one of these podcasts a few months back. The best part is Kered adds a new one every 2-3 weeks, so its like getting a collection of the coolest new music each month.

Velvethead

A local DJ I found through the cool Y! podcast search, this guy is all about the warm SF house sound that I love. Think DJs like Miguel Migs, Julius Papp and the Hed Kandi and Om labels, and you’ve got this one nailed. My friend Lem would love this-- it’s perfect for poolside grooving. I also like to listen to it at work when I really need to focus on a design I’m working on and want an upbeat sounds that is not too distracting with heavy beats. The sets play right through with no voiceovers, which is nice as well. A favorite is his Naked Music Tribute from August—there’s songs in there any End Up-goer will appreciate, but anyone who likes dance music can enjoy as well. (Diva lovers, there's a bootleg Mary J Blige as the first track on his most recent set that you'll probably like...)

Alyson Calagna’s HouseBlend (iTunes)

Alyson has been an and coming DJ on the gay-circuit for a few years now and has a couple of podcasts that are tasty blends of stuff I like about circuit music—booming beats and female vocals without getting too diva-ish or pots and pans-ish. Christian and I had the pleasure of meeting her in Miami a bunch of years back and she was really cool, and her latest podcast is a well made, high-energy collection of the latest stuff heard in the clubs.

In My House by Flooker (iTunes)

This is one I found on iTunes and the best part about it is he does one every week. He speaks at the beginning in some foreign language, but all of the music is pure House. It can drift to the Euro side of things too much for me, but again, the frequency of new sets showing up is a delight.

Tongcast by Pete Tong (iTunes)

One of the granddaddies of current house music, Pete Tong has been spinning records in England , Ibiza and around the world for what it seems like forever. One of the first import CDs I bought in the mid 90s was by him! His sets are usually pretty upbeat and fun, although he recently has been drifting into more crusty and guitar like sounds that I don't necessarily love, but its always interesting. He actually talks a fair amount between songs and is pretty entertaining, if not for his accent alone. Every track is "essential", but he does call out the names and the mixes of the songs, so it’s a good way to learn who does what.

Bravehound
Lastly, some hottie in Vancouver keeps a blog and posts occasional podcasts which are really off the hook. His blog is worth visiting just to see what he looks like, but the music he produces really is fantastic. The latest one, Groove Tonight, is chock full of electro house goodies, but then he surprises you with a new mix of Janet's classic, "The Pleasure Principal". Tasty stuff, and all free!

So it’s not the same thing as Napster, but to me, still pretty darn good. If any of you know of any others I should check out, please add a comment. Happy listening!

The Value of a Dollar

When you think about it, a dollar really doesn’t go very far. It’s hard to even buy a bottle of soda for less than one. It seems like it really takes a lot of them to do anything at all, and anything you want to do that is seemingly cool, even more. But I have a way of thinking about a dollar that might change your outlook.

It all started many years ago when I was skiing with my family at a resort outside of Pittsburgh during college. I was with my dad, stepmom, aunt, uncle and my then (ahem) girlfriend. My parents had actually treated my girlfriend to lessons for Christmas, so while she was with the teacher, I headed to the back of the mountain with my uncle, who is an amazing skier and quite the partier to boot. He has a set of ski poles that literally unscrews where he was fond of keeping peppermint schnapps. It’s amazing what that can do to keep you warm on the freezing cold lift, especially for the night skiing done on the east coast.

So we’re on the lift, trading shots of schnapps and he was telling me about how everytime he goes skiing, he tries to ski enough times to get it down to a dollar per run. So if the lift ticket cost $30, if he was able to get 30 runs in, it was worth it. After all, he said, skiing is a very expensive endeavour, but if you think about it in terms of a dollar per run, well, then maybe its no so bad. I told him that was a pretty cool idea and then asked for another shot of schnapps.

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized this theory has a pretty broad application. I started to think about it in terms of when I buy clothing—like, if a pair of jeans is $50, if I wear them 50 times, then its only a dollar per wearing, and that doesn’t seem that bad. Shoes are wear it works especially well, especially if they become a favorite pair. I’ve used this rationalization with Christian many times when trying to convince him to buy me whatever it is I want and it is a surprisingly compelling argument.

Take a computer for example. When I bought my Mac last fall, I thought about it in these terms—I use it every day, often times, more than once. If I have it for at least 4 years, which is how long I had my last computer, that’s 1460 days. It made it easier in my head to go for the large 24” monitor version of the Mac! (well, that and I really wanted it…)

So next time you look at one of those crinkled up George Washingtons in your pocket, try and think about this theory. It can a lot further than you think.

Back for 2007

Dear readers (if there are any left):

Sorry for the self-imposed hiatus. Christian arrived back in town right before Xmas and with everything going on and the holidays, etc., writing really slipped through the cracks. But I'm back to writing more often again (already have 2 new entires done, posting one tonight and another later this week), so please start reading again. And as always, I love to see your comments below. If I am going to take a break again in the future, I'll add a post.

Thanks and happy new year.