Re-Connection

Life has an interesting way of never turning out quite like you expect it to. I had my plans for the holidays all set-- spending a week with the family in Hanover, PA (nice, but not that exciting) and then heading up to Tahoe to join the rest of our ski house for a long weekend full of fabulous skiing over the New Years Eve weekend. And although Tahoe ended up being really fun (despite spending NYE by candlelight, as the power was out due to flooding), the real joy came from spending the week at home.

Not being home for Thanksgiving led me to book an entire week to visit for Christmas. Almost immediately after I booked my flight, I thought 'What did I just do? Christian is going to be in Asia with his Stanford friends, and I'm going to friggin' Pennsylvania? For a week!??? What am I thinking??'

Thank goodness I did. Here are some highlights from the trip, almost direct from a Garrison Keillor novel:

• I have a huge family, and had lots of time to spend, so I made the most of it. I had 2 days of Christmas shopping and getting caught up on family gossip with Mom (we'll make the Famous Hot Wiener next time!). I got to see my god-daughter's holiday pageant and marvel at the expanse of cultures she is being exposed to-- her class is like the United Colors of Benetton. I had a nearly 3 hour lunch with my Dad and Stepmom and spent a wonderful day with my crazy Baker family, where a family tradition was continued by giving me a rubber chicken (long story). I got to visit with my favorite aunt at her house (my parents now live right next door to her) for awhile and talk about religion and Christian and I having a family, things I never imagined we'd discuss. I had dinner with my sister and her family at her house, talking about all of the kids' days, and then I hung out with the kids in their playroom. Spending the amount of time at home I did helped to reveal depths in my familial relationships I hadn't seen before.
• I had a nice lunch with my brother. (at a Mexican restaraunt... in Hanover!!) I know that doesn't seem like that big of a deal, but it is. We were close years ago in college, but as we became adults, we took very different paths. You know, like I did the 'gay, big city, make my own way' thing and he did the 'straight, move home, work for Dad' thing. But at lunch and over the week, I felt a re-connection I hopet to nurture into 2006. We acted like clowns like we used to and we talked about life and family like we never did before. Like brothers are supposed to, I guess.
• I went out for dinner and drinks with one of my best friends from high school who I had not seen in 7+ years. We went to the local pub, and proceeded to sit there for about 6 hours, catching each other up on our lives, loves, jobs, etc, etc. It was a great affirmation of an outstanding friendship that had been dormant for sometime but now seems as if its been but a day since we've seen each other. Of course, re-connecting with her was wonderful and I look forward to seeing her next time I go home, but a close second for the night was witnessing a bar-fight. I was exhilarated. They just don't do that kind of stuff in the Castro.
• I got to spend a lot of time with my niece, who was visiting from Florida, and my nephews, who also live in my hometown. They're great kids and its important to me that Uncle Ben not just be 'the one who lived in California' when they look back on their childhoods.
• I was visiting this cool little trinket store in downtown Hanover that a woman who used to work in my grandfather's dress store (and was my buddy when I was very young) owns. She wasn' t there, but I ended up buying a few things, and the women who rang me up said 'Are you Ben Baker?! I haven't seen you since you were thisbig!' Turns out she's the owner's sister and she shared a story with me about my grandfather (who has been dead for over 10 years) and cousin that I had never heard. So I'm standing in a store that I go into probably every 3 years talking to someone I have no memory of meeting and she is telling me a sweet anecdote about my family. Neato.

And so it goes. If I had been home for just two days, or an afternoon as I used to when I lived in Washington, it couldn't have happened like this. Does absence make the heart grow fonder? Maybe, but either way, I had this amazing re-connection with my hometown and family that I never expected.

So the highlight of my Christmas break came from the time with my family. Like I said, life has a way of not exactly turning out like you plan. And that's a good thing.