Movement

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I hear a lot about "the gay movement", particularly from the wackos on the far Right fringe, and I wonder what that is. Even as a somewhat-politically minded gay person, I'm not sure I could define what it is. Is it as general as trying to secure equal rights as others? Is it focusing too much on marriage rights? Not enough on what the heck LGBTQQY is? Is it about securing hate crimes legislation? Or maybe just what happens in the gay clubs around the world each Saturday night?

I don't know about that, but I got two really nice reminders of progress while visiting my family in Pennsylvania last weekend. The first came from my mom at funeral for an older family member. After the service in the graveyard, we saw an old family friend who I had not seen since I was very small. She first introduced my brother and his wife, and in then turned to me and Christian. I cringed for a moment in fear of the dreaded "friend" label, but in her next breath, introduced me and "my partner" Christian. This was the first time I could ever remember her using that term for Christian. It may not be a big deal to some, but for my mom to get over the "friend" label hump felt like really good progress to me.

The other, more surprising one, came later that night. I was playing video games (the original Nintendo, playing "Super Mario Bros", another entry forthcoming about that...) with my 15 yr-old nephew (Tyler) and his best friend, Jeff. Christian and I have been together for 8 years and he's been around my family extensively since then. I never really had "the talk" about Christian's and my relationship with my nephew, esp since C has been around for almost as long as he can remember, and I figured that was really up to my sister, his mom. So I was explaining to them about driving down from New York, since I flew in there (about a 4-hour drive from home) the night before since Christian is spending all fall there for training for his new job. After I said that, Jeff says to me with all of the possible sincerity a 15-yr old boy can muster, "But will you guys be able to see each other?".

I was immensely touched and blown away by the fact that the first question a high school kid in the small town that I grew up in was to show genuine concern that Christian and I would be able to see each other over the 4 months that we'll be separated. I smiled and told him that I would be spending a few weeks over the fall working from the Y! offices in New York, and that we were hoping the time would go by quickly until Christian came back to SF. When I was his age, I couldn't even fathom the word "gay", much less what a gay relationship looked like, much less to show concern for someone I barely knew in a relationship like that.

Is that the kind of "gay movement" that will keep Pat Robertson up at night? Maybe not. But it sure felt like moving ahead to me.